


Five Times

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [28]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Case Fic, Chafing, Crack, Drabble, Five Times, Fuck Or Die, Gabriel being an Ass, Humor, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times our heroes were forced to have sex, and one time they...um...weren't?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times

**1.**

**Sam:**  So, I found a way to summon that demi-god who can help defeat the troll.

 **Dean:**  Cool. What do we need to do?

 **Sam:**  It’s a sex rite thing.

 **Dean:**  Doesn’t one of us have to be a virgin for that kind of shit?

 **Sam:**  Nope.

 

**2.**

**Demi-God:**  I demand you have more sex! But this time I think Dean should be on the bottom. And Sam, could you do that think with your…oh yeah. Just like that. To the left a little.  Perfect. You naughty, naughty boys…

**3.**

**Demi-God:**  Oh, you want my help defeating the troll, do you? You know, that is going to cost you…

 

**4.**

**Cas:**  Well, you defeated the troll, and the demi-god left, but he cursed you right before he left this plane of existence.

 **Sam:**  Oh man. What kind of curse?

 **Cas:**  Well, it appears that you will die in twenty-four hours unless you have…

 **Dean:**  Sex?

 **Cas:**  Yes.

 **Dean:**  Son of a bitch!

 

**5.**

**Dean:**  Hey, what’s the matter, Cas?

 **Cas:**  I do not know. I am feeling a little sick. I think that I may have been affected by the curse as well.

 **Sam:**  Oh dear. Which one of us do you need to have sex with?

 **Dean:**  Better do both, just to be safe.

**6.**

**Dean:**  I am so sore.

 **Sam:**  I hate Gabriel so much. I can feel the chafing.

 **Dean:**  At least you got to top most of the time.

 **Gabriel:**  Aw. You guys love me, admit it.

 **Sam:**  Yeah, no. You know that role play usually only lasts one round, right? Not FIVE. VERY LONG ROUNDS! WITH REAL CURSES!

 **Dean:**  I can’t feel my legs.

 **Cas:**  I can feel your legs. They are in my…

 **Dean:**  Awesome.

 **Sam:**  CHAFING!

 **Gabriel:**  K. All that watching you guys have sex got me hot and bothered. Who’s up for another round?

 **Sam:**  WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING SEX? WHILE THERE IS SO VERY MUCH CHAFING? WHY GOD?!?

 **Dean:**  Demi. Demi-god.

 **Gabriel:**  Are you calling me short? I’ll show you just how short I’m not!

 **Dean:**  PLEASE NO! SO MUCH PAIN!

 **Sam:**  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY! GO AWAY!

 **Cas:**  Would you like me to get the nipple clamps?

**Author's Note:**

> If you are interested in more frequent updates, I will be updating this series on tumblr daily at this point, and probably only weekly here. So! Follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope. It may take some time for me to get to it, but I promise I will. I mean, I have an SPN Founders Fic coming up. So anything you send, I will at least try to fill. :)


End file.
